


Mouth Breathers

by Vamphile



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-01-05
Updated: 2006-01-05
Packaged: 2018-12-26 19:47:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12065799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vamphile/pseuds/Vamphile
Summary: Brian and Justin are reading Fic about themselves.It's a stand alone, and you can read it without reading "A rainy Saturday Afternoon"  which is the same idea picking on different stuffthis is dedicated to Jane who cracks me up, has insight in her feedback, and made a note in someone's LJ that inspired this entire story.//  *****// indicates a quote from the fic they're reading.also, quick importnat note.  i mock my own fic here too, it's equal opportunity, get offended at your own damn risk.





	Mouth Breathers

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

  
Author's notes: It's a stand alone, and you can read it without reading "A rainy Saturday Afternoon" which is the same idea picking on different stuff  
  
this is dedicated to Jane who cracks me up, has insight in her feedback, and made a note in someone's LJ that inspired this entire story.  
  
// *****// indicates a quote from the fic they're reading.  
  
also, quick importnat note. i mock my own fic here too, it's equal opportunity, get offended at your own damn risk.  


* * *

* * *

****

Mouth Breathers

* * *

The Loft four am(ish) Justin wakes and reaches for Brian… he’s not in bed.

“Brian, you can’t still be reading that shit.”

“Shhhh, it’s getting good.”

“It doesn’t get good.”

“No, seriously this one’s great.”

“Brian, none of them are great, what are you on?”

“Nothing, but I think I’m high.”

“But you said you weren’t on anything.”

“I know but I’ve had my mouth closed for five minutes, and apparently I’m not able to breathe through my nose. I should have passed out by now…hmmm.”

Justin rolled his eyes and walked over to the computer, “seriously what are you on, and what the fuck are you talking about?”

“C’mere.”

Brian stood and pulled Justin to him…”fuck, hang on,” he dragged Justin over to the treadmill, stood beside it, pushed a few buttons and began kissing Justin. The kiss deepened. They stayed like that, kissing, hands roaming for a while. When Justin finally pulled away he no longer cared what Brian was on or what he had been doing.

Brian hit the button… “Four minutes twenty eight seconds. How’re you feeling?”

“Fine. Horny.”

“Duh, I meant light headed?”

“No.”

“You get oxygen?”

Justin looked at him like he might be retarded. I breathe through my nose or we’d never be able to hold a kiss for more than a minute. Christ, how the hell could I blow you if I were a fucking mouth breather?”

Brian shrugged, “no clue, but people have us kissing and then coming up for air like we’re doing it underwater.”

“Brian remember when you told me those people were stupid?”

“Yeah.”

“Remember it now.”

“Justin, I don’t think these people have dicks.”

“They’re het women for the most part, they don’t.”

“But if they’re het women then it stands to reason they’ve SEEN one, had personal experience with the use of one.”

“Okaaaaay” Justin drew out the word, trying to figure out where this was going.

“Have you read this shit?”

“Brian I told you, I stopped reading because it was giving me nightmares.”

“Yeah, you woke up and made me promise to never fuck you raw because you were afraid of getting pregnant.”

Justin blushed. “There are a LOT of Mpregs out there.”

“Okay, but that aside, we have hot sex.”

Justin leaned in, trying to distract Brian, “yeah we do.”

“Then why do these people describe stuff that’s physically impossible, seriously painful, and sometimes just down right ridiculous.”

“I’ll take ways to prove fic writers are stupid for a hundred Alex.”

Brian sighed and headed back to the computer.

“Brian, seriously, I’m gonna forbid you to read those anymore.”

“Join me, it’ll be educational.”

“Educational?”

“Yeah, apparently we’re doing it wrong, because we have got to try this.”

Justin sat on Brian’s lap and read.

//Justin’s feet were behind his head his back arched into Brian's touch as the man fucked his tight hole while Justin licked his balls.//

“Huh?”

“I didn’t know you were that flexible.”

“Am I licking my own balls or yours?”

“I don’t know but I think you’ve probably broken several limbs and your spinal cord doing it.”

“Look, I’m mad at you.”

“What?”

“Our tongues are apparently mad at each other, they’re dueling.”

“Tongue pistols at dawn?”

“And in this paragraph they’re fighting.”

“Ooh they made up now they’re dancing.”

Justin shook his head. “Is there even a plot to this story?”

“Yeah, there is…it’s one of your faves.”

“Oh god not...”

“Yep Sonny-boy, we’re in high school together.”

“Which of our dads is beating us?”

“Yours. But mine did in the last one.”

Justin banged his head against the desk, “Brian this has to stop.”

“It’s an addiction.”

“I think I liked it better when you were back up to three packs a day and unemployed.”

“Oh come on, don’t you want to see how many times I can make you come in a single night.”

“Yeah.” Justin turned towards Brian, thinking that his naked body on the mans lap might have had the desired effect. He was wrong.

“This one says eleven.”

“Ouch.”

"I know, hey, I want to try something."

“Brian I said ouch, that means no. And No also means no, so um…no. Do I need to be more clear?”

Brian laughed. “No. But that’s not what I want to try.”

“What.” Justin closed his eyes; glad he didn’t have an early diner shift in the morning.

“Go do something.”

“What?”

“Go do something, are you thirsty? Get water or a beer or something.”

“Whatever.” Justin headed towards the kitchen. “You want something?”

“Yeah, a beer.”

Justin was pulling it out of the fridge when Brian walked by and ran his hand over his hair. He left a peck on the back of his neck and then went back to the desk.

“What was that?”

“Did you get hard?”

“I’m naked, in front of the refrigerator getting you a beer. I know you’re hot, but I don’t get hard every time you get within a foot of me, or touch me. If that were true we’d never get anything done, ever.”

“They think you do.”

“Bullshit.”

“Seriously, I’m within a foot, I talk to you, I touch you, and you’re hard.”

“That hasn’t happened since I was still in high school. And then you didn’t even have to be in the room. Hell, I practically didn’t have to be in the room.”

Brian laughed again. “That’s high school. This, uggggh, isn’t”

“Do I want to know?”

“You have car, I have a car, why are Emmett and Ted and Daphne and Lindsay and Melanie in school with us?”

“Can I get like a placard that says “stupid people”? It will save me a lot of time answering these questions.”

“How rich is your dad?”

“What?”

“Simple question.”

“He’s not. He’s like, middle class, maybe a little upper middle, you probably make more a year than he does.”

“How come he’s always really rich?”

“So you can fuck me for my money?”

“Did you know I’m both brilliant and a star football player?"

“Is it one of those ones where they mean soccer but say football?”

Justin was back with the beer, leaning his head against Brian's chest, eyes closed, resigned to another long night of stupid questions.

“Nope, it’s American, I’m apparently a great quarterback, made all star or something the previous year.”

“Wow, that’s impressive, let me guess, I’m a faggot artist getting beat up and you have to save me.”

“Got it in one.”

“Who names me Sunshine in this one?”

“Awww, your mom did.”

“Is our life so bad people have to rewrite it?”

“Well, there are parts I’d rewrite.”

“Yeah me too, but not the part where we’re all in high school together.”

“So what part WOULD you rewrite?”

“Oh you know, the usual stuff…”

Brian was interested now. “What stuff?”

“The stuff you already know. I might have um… gone home with you instead of back to Daph at prom, that could have saved some time and aggravation.”

Brian nodded. “I’d rewrite that too.”

“So what else would you rewrite?”

Brian shrugged “hey!”

“What?”

“Did Ethan ever hit you?”

“No.” Justin's expression was priceless, dismissive, and disbelieving.

“Lot of people have him doing it.”

“You just want more reason to hate Ethan.”

“Don’t need more reason.”

“Ooh this one’s fun, look, three guys, you, me, Emmett,”

“Emmett? We fuck Emmett?”

“It’s one of those spends more time describing where everyone is than anything.”

“But we’re fucking Emmett?”

“Brian, you’ve read one’s where Gus fucked me…”

“Yeah, I’m still trying to track down that IP address, some stupid people don’t deserve to have fingers.”

“Seriously Brian, this is getting tiresome. People are obsessed with us, they write these stories. And if you don’t click the link, you don’t get them on your happy screen and then you don’t get sucked in to reading them. It’s pretty easy once you get used to it.”

“But don’t you wan to know what happens once I’m a rock star and you’re my manager.”

“No, you can’t sing.”

“What about this one, you’re a tennis coach and I’m a pro tennis player.”

“You hate tennis.”

“We make a bet for a week, you’re my slave.”

“I’d lose in three minutes, I’m the bossiest bottom you know.”

“It’s ten years later and I’m dead.”

Justin shuddered. "Turn off the computer and come to bed. Now."

“You are a bossy bottom.”

“And I don’t read major character deaths and you fucking know it.”

“Christ, Justin it’s just stupid people writing fiction. It’s a joke.”

“Some things aren’t funny.”

Brian turned off the computer and kissed Justin for six minutes, breathing through his nose the entire time.


End file.
